Hari Om. Pranams.
Shri Ramkumarji's reply is really nice.
Pujya Guruji Swami Tejomayanandaji once said "Grace is there like sunlight. It is everywhere all the time. One who has tuned his mind to it gains it like a sun-roof". I think, grace is really not about 'gaining', it is about 'recognizing'. Recognizing that it is there. Recognizing more and more that what I thought earlier as "my self-effort" is really grace. I think it is about growing in this understanding.
However, if we don't have that recognition we should not just give up. We should put in even more self-efforts because grace is like "getting discount". We can't expect to get discount if we don't pay. Just like more we pay, more we get discount like that more we put in self-effort more we gain grace. God helps those who help themselves.
I think grace depends upon faith, gratitude, humility, goodness and love for all beings. To grow in recognition of grace we should learn to appreciate every little thing in our life and in this creation and feel grateful for it. Recognition of grace brings relief from all our worries, sorrows, fears and it brings immense joy because we not only realize how "Everything is OK !" but we also get a new vision to see how "Everything is so beautiful !"